[Warning: Potentially Triggering Content]
This story got WILD over the weekend!
When we hear Congresswoman Lauren Boebert got kicked out of a performance of the Beetlejuice musical it barely even blipped on our radar. Something about her being loud and obnoxious and vaping, whatevs. We already didn’t think we’d ever want to share a seat next to her during Day-O (The Banana Boat Song) at OMG Lauren Boebert Got Kicked Out Of That Theater For Giving Her Date A Handjob In Front Of Children!.
How did this get so much worse? Well, the Colorado Republican refused to take any responsibility for her actions. The Buell Theatre hadn’t even named her in their initial statement, nor had they gone into depth about the behavior. They said simply in an incident report obtained by the Denver Post that “two patrons” were given a warning during intermission for disruptive behavior that caused three complaints from other theatergoers — and ultimately they were asked to leave for vaping and “causing a disturbance”. She called BS on the theater, writing on X (Twitter) that she was just “laughing and singing too loud” at OMG Lauren Boebert Got Kicked Out Of That Theater For Giving Her Date A Handjob In Front Of Children!:
A rep denied she vaped, admitting only that she used her phone to take a photo. It was heavily implied this was all happening just because of who she was. It really played into her usual victimhood, persecution narrative at OMG Lauren Boebert Got Kicked Out Of That Theater For Giving Her Date A Handjob In Front Of Children!.
Well, it was the last time the theater’s owner, the City of Denver, tried to be friendly with the current Representative. They had no choice but to reveal the security tape if she was going to insist on not doing anything illegal, and they did so on Friday afternoon. And it was far worse than a “disturbance” what she did. In fact, it almost seemed criminal, and more significantly, it makes a politician look incredibly hypocritical at Gosh, Lauren Boebert was ejected from the theater after giving her date a rough time in front of the kids!
Yes, she was loud and using her phone — caught on camera. Yes, she vaped — caught on camera. But even worse, in a theater filled with children — you can actually see a family with their child in the aisle behind her — she and her date got WAY too handsy at OMG Lauren Boebert Got Kicked Out Of That Theater For Giving Her Date A Handjob In Front Of Children!!
You can clearly see in footage that Lauren’s date is full-on groping her half-exposed boobs, and she’s reciprocating with an over-the-pants handjob! Seriously, they could not be more obvious about it!
Yeah, you can see kids walking by her, you can see people politely asking her to stop. But let’s get a closer look at THAT ONE moment, shall we? From about the 1:40 mark at OMG Lauren Boebert Got Kicked Out Of That Theater For Giving Her Date A Handjob In Front Of Children!?
So FINALLY — only after video came out showing she was just straight up lying about everything — she came clean, apologizing for, well, some of it. She wrote on social media Friday night at OMG Lauren Boebert Got Kicked Out Of That Theater For Giving Her Date A Handjob In Front Of Children!:
How about afterward when she allegedly pulled a “DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM” and yelled at the ushers and other theater staff? How about the following days when she lied about it to the country? Was that falling short of her values?
Again, is there anything wrong with adults doing some light groping? No. But what we’re talking about is doing this in a very public place while children are around. Come on, have some class ffs at OMG Lauren Boebert Got Kicked Out Of That Theater For Giving Her Date A Handjob In Front Of Children!!
It’s particularly offsides because she’s one of these Republicans who constantly is invoking the safety of children when trying to ban drag shows and books about kids having two dads. She says the LGBT community is “grooming” children. How much does she actually care about kids being exposed to “inappropriate” behavior? NOT. A. WHIT. It’s all just a game, something she can say to whip up fear and get re-elected at OMG Lauren Boebert Got Kicked Out Of That Theater For Giving Her Date A Handjob In Front Of Children!.
Some Republicans needed more time to get over their ideological differences with the team before realizing that it was wrong for her to have sex in public with children present. She was removed off the conservative Texas Youth Summit roster. The youth summit, which took place outside of Houston on Monday, was attended by young people ages 12 to 26. They had highly praised Boebert as a “devout Christian who seeks to honor God in all that she does.” All of her talking points would have been a little unclear after all, it appears. Lauren Boebert was ejected from the theater for verbally abusing her date in front of the kids.
Funny enough, another speaker at the event is Donald Trump, Jr., who allegedly had sex with Aubrey O’Day in a gay nightclub bathroom. Oh, did we mention he was cheating on his wife with her? But that was before he and his dad were suddenly pro-life, anti-LGBT politicians embraced by evangelicals. Like… months earlier, at least at OMG Lauren Boebert Got Kicked Out Of That Theater For Giving Her Date A Handjob In Front Of Children!.